I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who’s thinking this. I know some of Throwing Starfish’s readers are wondering, “So what now?” Believe it or not, but some people checked our blog every day. The truth is I don’t know what’s next. Ever since I got back, I’ve been wondering the same thing. I feel like I have this part of me that’s screaming at me to go back.
Back where I feel accepted. Where I know that someone loves me. Where I know that there is a little boy who will be so grateful for medical attention that he will stick around the building until we leave just to say thank you. Someone that will run and grab my hand and never ever let go. I want God to hold my hand and never let go. Please, God, don’t ever let go.
I know that God is always with me. I know that. Sometimes, there are certain places where the signal sort of gets weaker. The signal is the strongest in Uganda. Back “home”, or at least what’s supposed to be home, I don’t feel God with me as much as I want to. I want to feel like God is always sitting right next to me in the car. And I just don’t feel that.
When I look outside at the mountains to my left and the ocean to my right, I feel truly blessed. Even though I missed my ocean in Uganda, I still yearn to go back to the place where I left half of my heart. To the Pearl of Africa. I’m very proud of Uganda as a country. Since the genocide, they have had to rebuild what was torn down. The Ugandans have built facilities that help the woman who have had their lips cut off during the genocide. They have received new lips. Those women are gaining back their confidence.
I was watching the Olympic opening ceremonies last night, and when Uganda walked across the stadium with their flag, I was proud of them. Even though there were so few competing for Uganda, I’m glad they came. I think it’s amazing that those men and women can represent their country. Uganda is a beautiful country with beautiful people. And they deserve to be recognized.
So what now? I hope that this helped you to see “what now.” I know that a part of me will always want to return to Uganda. I’m sure that I will someday, I just don’t know when. But for now, I’m stuck in California. I guess I’ll just have to see what God has planned for me.